


(we decided) we're gonna be alright

by texaswatermelon



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F, Friends With Benefits, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:59:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7881064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/texaswatermelon/pseuds/texaswatermelon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>She has always loved Emily the most. Just one more thing she has in common with Alison.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	(we decided) we're gonna be alright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dubcliq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dubcliq/gifts).



> written for dubcliq, who i'm pretty sure i owe like fifty million birthday fics to, so i need to catch up on the backlog at some point.
> 
> this takes place during the time jump, but fuck all if i can figure out what the timeline is during those five years, so whatever. set sometime after haleb and paily have broken up and after emily's dad has died, but before hanna meets jordan.
> 
> unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> title taken from _Be Alright_ by Ariana Grande.

Emily is the first one to know about it when Caleb gets on a plane to Europe and Hanna isn’t on it with him. It’s months later, and it’s the first time that Hanna has talked to any of her friends since the breakup. It’s the first time she’s talked to anyone at all outside of work. She kind of went into Spencer Mode, as Aria would call it.

(Anyway, if she’s going to tell anyone, she’d rather it be Emily. She has always loved Emily the most. They were never supposed to have favorites, but as Aria and Spencer always gravitated towards one another more, so too did Hanna feel more at ease around Emily than anyone else. Just one more thing she has in common with Alison.)

Emily sounds a lot better over the phone than she did the last time Hanna spoke to her, not long after her dad died. And she knows she’s an awful friend for not checking in on Emily sooner, but she’s always been a bit self-centered, and she hasn’t really been in a position to comfort anyone lately. Still, Emily has exactly the amount of concern in her voice that Hanna expects when she says she’s sorry to hear about Caleb leaving and asks if Hanna needs anything from her.

Suddenly, Hanna misses Emily more than anything in the world—her soft, caring face and her willingness to go to bat for any of her friends if they need her. It breaks out of her chest in the form of a pathetic sob. Emily listens patiently while she cries, and at the end of it Hanna feels like an empty blister: raw and painful, but relieved of the pressure and finally on her way to healing.

“Listen,” Emily says once Hanna can breathe again, “my roommate is out of town next week. You should come out and visit if you feel up to it. A little west coast sunshine should do some good. Plus, I bartend part time, so I can get you all the free drinks you want."

Hanna doesn’t need any more convincing than that.

xx

Hanna has been to California before, but it’s a lot nicer with a friendly face waiting for her when she steps through the gate. She sags into Emily’s embrace and inhales the scent of her floral perfume like she’ll drown without it.

Emily takes Hanna’s duffel bag on her shoulder and intertwines the fingers of their free hands together as she leads them out of the airport.

“There’s an In-N-Out Burger on our way back to my place. I figured you’d be hungry."

Hanna could almost cry with how much she loves this girl right now for knowing her so well. She says as much and Emily just laughs.

“Have any of us really changed much, deep down?” she asks.

Hanna wants to say that she has. That it feels like she’s lived three lifetimes since that day they all parted ways outside of Alison’s house. But what can she really say to a girl who’s just lost her dad and is still managing to hold it together?

xx

The first three nights, they get completely obliterated.

I was seeing Paige again, but after my dad died I kind of fell apart, and then so did we,” Emily tells her the first night.

“Do you regret it?” Hanna asks.

Emily just shakes her head with a sad smile and takes another sip of her cocktail.

xx

“Do _you_ regret it?” Emily asks on the second night.

If she were sober, she might have to ask for clarification, but as it is Hanna already knows what she means. Does she regret choosing work over love? Does she regret not getting there fast enough? Does she regret that Caleb refused to hang on just a few minutes longer for her?

“How do you untell a fairytale that you spent so many years of your life writing?” Hanna replies.

When Emily looks at her over the rim of her glass, Hanna sees the ghost of Alison flash in her eyes.

“You have to pick up a new book."

xx

On the third night, they crash through the door of Emily’s apartment, mouths tearing at each other as they stumble over discarded shoes and fall onto the couch next to a half-empty bag of potato chips. The crash landing seems to pull Emily out of her drunken lust. She tries to stand up without falling, even as Hanna grabs at her shirt to drag her closer.

“Hanna, this isn’t what you really want,” Emily cautions, finally managing to distance herself.

What she really means to say is that, “ _I'm_ not what you really want”, but Hanna’s not about to let anyone try to explain away her motivations, even if she is drunker than necessary.

“If I didn’t want you, I wouldn’t be trying to rip your clothes off, Em."

Emily huffs and drags a hand through her hair.

“Look, I just don’t think it’s a good idea tonight. We’ll both be able to think more clearly when we’re sober."

That’s so not what Hanna wants to hear when she’s drunk and horny, but she’s the last person to try to convince Emily to do something she’s not comfortable with.

“Alright, well help me up so we can go to bed, then,” Hanna sighs. “I promise to keep my hands to myself."

Emily grins and extends a hand for Hanna to use as leverage. Once she’s off the couch, they head for Emily’s bedroom and Hanna flops down on the bed.

“Is there a girl version of blue balls?” she asks, suddenly curious.

Emily squints for a moment, thinking.

“Blue bean, I think I heard once."

Hanna laughs and decides that sleep is actually the best idea.

xx

They spend the next day drying out at the beach. Neither one of them mentions it, but Hanna thinks about her intent to sleep with Emily the night before, wonders if it was just the alcohol or something more. Emily is beautiful and kind. Hanna has never had a problem admitting when she thinks a girl is hot, and this is no exception. But there’s more to it than that, and she and Emily share a history that might as well span centuries for as much as they’ve endured together.

“Caleb is an idiot for expecting you to choose between your dreams and your relationship. He didn’t give you enough credit. He thought you’d be weak enough to believe you couldn’t live without him. But you knew you were strong enough to do anything you wanted. That’s why you walked away. Even if you tried to go back, you still believed in yourself more than he did. And for that, he doesn’t deserve you,” Emily had told her last night on the way back to the apartment.

And Hanna thought that maybe no one has ever believed in her as much as Emily always has, and in that moment, she just wanted…

Hanna doesn’t know what she wanted, but she knows that she found it in the taste of Emily’s tongue and the heat of hands under her shirt. For the first time since Caleb left, she’d felt peace and certainty.

She kisses Emily again, later that night when they’re watching a movie on the couch and neither one of them are drunk. Emily pulls away and scans her face with confusion, like she’s trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

“I thought you were just drunk last night,” she says slowly.

“I was drunk, but that’s not why I kissed you,” Hanna says.

Emily clearly expects more of an explanation than that, and Hanna huffs with frustration because words have never been her strength.

“You’ve always seen the good in me, Em, even when I couldn’t see it in myself. I think that’s part of why everyone loves you so much. You show people the parts of themselves that even they don’t believe exist. Back when everyone else was calling me Hefty Hanna, you were taking the time to compliment me. You never made me feel stupid or ugly or insecure about anything."

She pauses to wipe away a stray tear that’s slipped down her cheek and finds Emily looking at her intently.

“Things have been so screwed up for me, lately. For both of us. But this is the first time I’ve really felt like I can breathe in months and I know that’s because of you. And even if it’s only for one night, I just wanted to soak up that feeling of comfort and safety that’s so easy with you and forget about everything else for a little while."

For a moment, with the way Emily’s staring at her, Hanna’s afraid she’s going to get yelled at. She knows what this sounds like—that she wants to use Emily’s body for a night to make herself feel better. And part of it is that, but more of it is about needing her friend in a way that she hasn’t before. It’s about hoping that she can be that safety and comfort for Emily as well, if only for a moment.

Emily’s face finally softens, and then there are fingers tracing her cheek where the tears have begun to dry, and Emily leans in to kiss her softly.

“I’m glad neither one of us is going to have blue bean tonight,” Emily murmurs against her lips, and Hanna’s laugh is swallowed with another, deeper kiss.

They make their way to the bedroom with very little grace, which is fine. Hanna’s not looking for a scene staged from a movie. She just wants to be close, and Emily is never gone from her for long. She leaves a trail of kisses down Hanna’s neck and somehow manages to find that spot on her collarbone that drives Hanna wild within seconds.

Hanna prefers to feel skin, so she forces Emily up onto her knees just long enough to pull the shirt over her head and toss it across the room.

“Are you helping me do my laundry tomorrow?” Emily asks with a raised eyebrow as Hanna pulls her back down, rakes blunt nails over Emily’s newly exposed torso and takes note when Emily arches with a hiss.

“If I make you come more than once, can I get a pass on that?” Hanna responds before sucking at Emily’s pulse point.

Emily shoves her back down onto her back with a smirk, which Hanna takes as a yes, and then her thoughts are cut off with a moan when she feels Emily’s lips on her nipple. She doesn’t even know how this happened, didn’t notice Emily undoing her bra and pushing her shirt way up. Hanna chalks it up to some kind of lesbian sex magic and sinks her fingers into the thick hair at the base of Emily’s skull.

There’s too much to explore and too much to do. Hanna has never had sex with a girl before and she wants to make good on those multiple orgasms, but Emily’s mouth at her breasts is distracting. She reaches for the clasp of Emily’s bra and fumbles, realizes she’s never had to do it from this angle before and becomes more determined when she feels Emily’s chuckle on her chest. The next try is more successful. Hanna flings the bra aside, takes a breast in each hand and squeezes experimentally, gains a new appreciation for boobs.

“Hmm,” Hanna muses, palming each breast softly.

“Did you just ‘hmm’ during sex?” Emily asks, half indignant and half amused. She moans quietly when Hanna rolls a nipple between her fingers.

“I just never understood why people were so obsessed all the time, but I kind of get it now. These are nice."

“I’m glad you approve,” Emily replies, then sets to work getting Hanna’s shirt and bra off completely.

Hanna can feel the heat between Emily’s legs where Emily straddles her thigh, and she thinks that it's pretty hot that she has the power to turn Emily on like that. It means that Emily finds her sexy, and Hanna likes that a lot. Emily kisses Hanna deeply for a few moments, and then she begins working her way back down again. She drags her mouth down Hanna’s stomach, runs her tongue just above the line of Hanna’s jeans. Hanna squirms in anticipation, but Emily hesitates.

“You’re sure?” she asks, and Hanna’s smile is filled with affection.

“Definitely sure. But it’s sweet of you to ask."

So Emily makes short work of Hanna’s pants and underwear, as well as her own remaining clothing, and then she settles back on top of Hanna and gazes down at her with a look that makes Hanna feel a little breathless.

“I hope you know how beautiful you are, Hanna. You always have been,” Emily says softly.

Hanna doesn’t know what to say to that. She doesn’t always know that she’s beautiful and especially didn’t when she was younger, but right now she believes it, and that’s a gift she can never repay.

Emily’s fingers skimming between her legs have her clenching in anticipation, but Emily seems content to take her time. She gathers some of the wetness at Hanna’s entrance and uses it to circle Hanna’s clit. It feels great, but Hanna finds herself aching for something deeper. She wants to be filled with Emily.

“Any more foreplay, Em, and my bean is going to fall right off."

“Gross,” Emily mutters, which makes Hanna laugh, but then Emily enters her and it turns into a quiet gasp. “Jesus,” Emily says, head dropping to Hanna’s shoulder as she begins to pump her fingers. “Hanna, you feel amazing."

Hanna can only respond with a deep moan as Emily’s fingers curl upward just slightly. She clutches at the tight muscles of Emily’s back, feels heated skin under her fingertips and loses herself in the sensation of being completely surrounded. Somehow Emily is able to read her body, knows just what she needs and when. She speeds up and drives deep to make Hanna lose her breath, keeps it up until Hanna is sure she’s going to black out, and then slows back down again. Hanna feels it build and build until she has no other choice but to break.

“You can touch yourself if you need to,” Emily whispers.

So Hanna does. She reaches for her own clit while Emily finds a spot inside of her that makes her toes curl, and it only takes about a minute of that before Hanna feels herself coming apart.

“Shit,” she breathes, and then every muscle tenses and she holds on for dear life while Emily rides her out.

That boneless feeling when she hits the mattress never gets old. Hanna is delirious with it, nerve endings still buzzing and muscles still twitching for several moments after. Emily settles beside her, pushing the hair from Hanna’s eyes with her clean hand.

“Well now I understand why all the girls were constantly lining up for you in high school,” Hanna finally says, voice a little hoarse.

“Shut up,” Emily says with a laugh.

Hanna pulls her down for a kiss and manages to get Emily underneath her without rolling them off the bed entirely, which she counts as a victory. She likes the way Emily looks up at her. Like she’s happy here. Like she feels as safe in Hanna’s arms as Hanna does in hers.

“Well I’m pretty sure I have a quote to fill, so I should probably get started,” Hanna says, and seals Emily’s laugh with a kiss.

xx

She manages to make Emily come three times that night, but Emily gives as good as she gets, so Hanna decides to split the difference and buy Emily breakfast the next morning.

xx

Emily drives her back to the airport when it’s time to go home.

“You’ll come visit me soon, right?” Hanna asks when they pull up.

“Of course, Hanna,” Emily says warmly. “Just let me know when."

They hug tightly, and Hanna tries to memorize the way that Emily makes her feel stronger than she is. Like she can face anything and survive. Maybe she always could. Maybe she just needed a friend to remind her.

“Thank you for everything."

“Well, I can’t say I didn’t get something out of the deal,” Emily replies.

Hanna grins. “That good, huh?"

“You’re a fast learner."

She wishes she could stay. Not just for the sex, but because she misses spending time with Emily. She misses all of them, actually. Even Alison.

“Text me when you land so I know you’re okay,” Emily says, and kisses her on the cheek. “Have a safe flight."

Hanna nods. If she tries to speak she’s afraid she may cry, so she gives Emily one last hug and gets her bags and goes. She’s not looking forward to her empty apartment or her demanding job when she gets home, but she takes a deep breath and reminds herself that California is only a plane ride away, and all of her friends can be reached by phone. She thinks about giving them all a call within the next week, and the thought makes her smile.


End file.
